i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think a kid would responsible me up
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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