home. puking in laundry basket.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
