ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
