Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize