this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
