No awkward lesbian experiences without me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
