fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
