Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize