she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
