i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize