My room smells like vodka and shame
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
