boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
