Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
