He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
