I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
