Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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