And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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