FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
