Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
