I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How external is "for external use only"?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
