I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
