Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
