so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
