Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
