Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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