we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
