how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize