but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
