man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize