I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
