Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Michael Bay diarrhea
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
