READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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