thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
