I want to stick my p in your. b.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
