literally had 100 drinks last night.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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