If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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