we have officially lost it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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