you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
