these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
