I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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