dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
