i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
