lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
