If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
