No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
