the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He felt like a one man threesome
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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