I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
