they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
