Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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