He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My ass is underappreciated
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize