Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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