wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
