I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
there is glitter all over my balls
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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