I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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