i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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