so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
