Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
