Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
