Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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